The magic key to happiness? Choice.

Whether we have been asked this question of what we would like to someday be, or not, it is usually a passing thought for many of us well up into our adulthood. The world puts such a heavy emphasis on figuring out what you want to do for the rest of your life by the time you are 18, so then you can begin your college years of accumulating debt to become what you believe you want to be at an inexperienced age. Often the reasoning of becoming doctors and lawyers is because they are high paying jobs and always in demand. Shouldn't the reason be because they are positions in society that can help others in times of need? They can help right the wrongs of the world? Wouldn't that be a more humanitarian answer to why you choose to pursue such a profession? John Lennon stated that he wanted to be "happy", and that is a direct reflection of most of the world. Teachers want to be happy. Volunteers, Doctors, and Lawyers too. Even religious zealots and terrorists want to be happy. I will admit they have a different idea of how to achieve happiness, but in the end they are still fighting for something they believe in because this idea they believe in makes them happy. We all fight for our happiness is some way or another. My answer to finding happiness is simple. The answer is having choices.

Choices are around you every single second of the day. You have simple choices that you make every single split second of your hectic days. These are choices that are, more often that not, done by autopilot on your brain. The choices that lead to happiness are larger choices. They are the choices that we consciously have to make to stay on track to having perpetual happiness throughout our life journey. I really started to understand the freedom and happiness that comes with choices when I lived in the United Arab Emirates and Bangkok, Thailand. Many universities that have international faculty will provide transportation to and from the university since foreigners will need to go through a process to obtain a license and vehicle legally in a foreign country. Many times due to personal financial difficulties some faculty simply cannot afford a personal vehicle. I was asked in each county on two individual times why I was using the provided transportation when I had my own personal transportation. It didn't seem strange to me at all, but when I looked at it from their point of view it became more obvious. The person who was forced to take the public transportation because they couldn't afford their own vehicle couldn't understand why I would still take the public transportation at times when I had my own vehicle. They had no choice but to take the provided transportation and they yearned for the choice to be able to take their own vehicle, if only they could afford it. Since I had the choice of which transportation to take, it didn't bother me to take the provided transportation on days that I was tired, the van schedule matched my personal schedule, or when I simply didn't feel like dealing with traffic. So ultimately having the choice of which transportation to take led to a greater happiness. 

Choices are different for everyone, but ultimately I think we can agree that money can buy choices. I have been traveling extensively since 2007, and having money has led to many doors of opportunity to open up for me to make a choice on which one to enter. Don't get me wrong, I worked normal jobs like everyone else, but I made the choice to work jobs that allowed me 2-3 months off a year to travel. I also made the choice to have jobs that pay enough income in the 9-10 months of working to enjoy that much time off. If your job is not in line with your personal goals outside of the job then you may consider making a change. My jobs were no longer in line with how I wanted to travel, so most of you know I made the change to where I get paid to travel, explore new countries, and meet people, rather than having to pay myself to do these things. I jumped the fence and now I enjoy receiving the money to follow my dreams rather than paying to follow them. Another financial choice is to not waste money every weekend and living paycheck to paycheck, but rather to live simply in daily life to create savings for the big purchases such as plane tickets, hostels, and global activities in any given foreign country. People that want that designer handbag or sunglasses are often unaware that for the same cost or less you could have a week vacation in a foreign land creating memories that will enrich you and make you become a better person. Again, having the choice of things to do with a lump sum of money is more important that overpriced Mochas every morning before work.

The third choice you may also have to lend towards your happiness is the choice to be sensitive about what matters. My first day in a new class I was teaching I asked my Russian student if he would be upset at me if I said something bad about his mom. Of course his immediate answer was a resounding YES! I asked him to hear me out though. The conversation went something like this:

Dustin: Would you be mad at me if I said something bad about your mom?

Russian student: Yes!

Dustin: Do I know your mom?

Russian student: No.

Dustin: So why would I want to say something bad about your mom?

Russian student: I dunno, maybe to make me mad.

Dustin: Exactly, my intent would be to make you mad, but you have the choice to let me win or not.

Russian student: But if you say anything about my mom I would be mad.

Dustin: What does what I say matter if I have never met your mother, or know anything about her?

Russian student: I don't let anyone talk about my mom.

Dustin: So knowing that I would say something like that only to make you mad, you are willing to give up your happiness and let me win, although I know nothing about your mother and my words don't hold any value because of that?

Russian student: *has to now think if his happiness is worth giving up now that he understands the situation more.......

The way you react to everything in life that is thrown at you on a daily basis is up to you. You can choose to be happy and realize that it is your choice to care about what actually matters. If Miley Cyrus is a bit to racy in her video, I can guarantee you this is not worth losing your happiness over. Change the station, problem solved. This is definitely a topic not worth being sensitive over.  If someone uses the incorrect grammatical use of the word to, too, or two on their internet post, I can also tell you that it is, in fact, not the end of the world. It doesn't really actually matter if they misspelled a word here and there. As long as you get the message they tried to portray then that is what matters. Sensitivity should be used in a productive matter of changing the world for the better.

To determine what matters and what you should actually care about, throw out the microscope and take out the telescope. Some people choose to get so angry about such small issues every day to the point that it effects their health. Are you mad the Starbuck's employee spelled your name wrong on your coffee? Are you mad that the person in the lane next to you is cutting you off and you have made it your daily goal to just not let them in because they didn't use their blinker soon enough? Now, take a step back and look at the world as a whole. What you should choose to worry about is the segregation of the human species based on job titles, nationalities, and borders. How is it that we have enough food to feed the world, yet people starve daily because they can't afford the food we are selling. Is money more important than life? These are things to worry about. Why is it the war machine of America continues to rage on like it has for over 200 years of America's existence and we act like this is just the way the world works. I can tell you first hand that wherever I travel that people don't want war. People don't want hate crimes. They want acceptance of their ideas and to have the freedom to live how they want within their own beliefs on a wide range of topics. So now you have the choice to decide how to do this. I totally get it that the easier solution is to get mad and correct the Starbucks employee on the spelling of your name every single day you go there, but really the world needs each and every on of us to lend a hand in tackling the global issues. I say start with yourself. Be the change you want to see. You want the terrorist to understand your struggles in life, then understand theirs. We are all fighting for something in one way or another. Some shoot with heavy weaponry while others kill with heavy words. The choice is yours. How do we make a change in our world?

So, in the end, the choice is yours to maintaining your happiness. Live your life so you have more and more choices available to you. The more choices you have as solutions to any problems will allow you to never stop moving forward. Whenever a problem presents itself, choose the best solutions that you have created for yourself and go with it. If it doesn't work out, then make the next choice and try again. Life is as simple as that.